Many years ago, God began to lay the LGBTQ community on my heart. He was not leading me on some big mission to turn as many people as I could away from an immoral lifestyle.  Nor was I being called to raise and direct as much aid and comfort as I was able. It was simply this: Start intentionally thinking about how, as a Christian, I should view and interact with the LGBTQ community.

At the time, I could think of no pressing reason why this would have been the case.  Over the years, I’ve known and worked with people who were gay or lesbian but have never felt that it affected how I personally lived my life. However, as time went on, the LGBTQ community has grown (or at least the country’s awareness of it has), as has our interaction with its members and issues. Likewise, my desire to appropriately represent Christ as I associate with the community has grown as well, both in my words and in my actions.

In my last article, “God’s Palette”, I wrote that we should make every attempt to better understand others and see life from their point of view.  As a concept, I believe many Christians would agree with me on this.  Practically, however, many Christians seem unwilling to extend this consideration to the LGBTQ community. Perhaps Christians may feel obligated to share with them a distilled version of their need for Jesus, but beyond that they feel it best to keep their distance. If one was to actually associate with the LGBTQ community and treat them as friends, some Christians might think they were an insincere believer, backslidden, or that they condone their lifestyle.  This attitude is nothing new.  Just read about how the Pharisees’ reacted when Jesus built relationships with the tax collectors (Matt. 9:10-11) and prostitutes (Luke 7:36-39, 15:1).

Conversely, as Christians build these relationships, members of the LGBTQ community might come to the wrong assumption; could the friendliness of a Christian be misinterpreted as the approval of beliefs they do not truly hold? The challenge for the Christian is how to truly be a friend while remaining committed to your principles.  Or as one of my favorite authors, Caleb Kaltenbach puts it, how do you fully accept others without approving of what they think or do?

Unfortunately, this is where I struggle most in regard to the LGBTQ community.  I certainly don’t want to treat the group as an enemy, because they aren’t.  However, I also don’t want to give the wrong impression that aspects of their lifestyle are perfectly fine.  My recent studies of the scriptures (in particular the book of Galatians) and books such as Messy Grace and Messy Truth from the aforementioned Caleb Kaltenbach have certainly helped. (I plan to write more about Caleb’s books in a later article). Still, it’s a process that God is helping me work through.

Even so, here are a few truths that I believe pertain to relationships with not only the LGBTQ community but with others whose opinions and beliefs may differ from mine.

GOD DESIRES THAT WE MINGLE

This should be no surprise.  The best way to get to know our neighbors and show them God’s love is to be involved in their lives, get to know their joys and struggles, and share how Jesus fits.  That is what Jesus prayed for in the book of John (17:16-26) and what I wrote about in my previous article.  I won’t totally rehash that here except to mention a few specific areas where scripture tells us to be personally involved (Proverbs 31:8-9, Isaiah 1:17; Micah 6:8, Jeremiah 7).

Scripture is clear that we are to care for and defend the rights of the destitute, poor, and needy (Proverbs 31:8-9). These are conditions that can be found throughout society, regardless of a person's beliefs or associations. Furthermore, we are told to seek justice and to correct oppression (Isaiah 1:17). There is no question that this applies to the LGBTQ community.  They are often ridiculed, face discrimination over things that are unrelated to their sexual practices, and in the worst cases beaten or killed. Instead of correcting these injustices, sometimes Christians are, unfortunately, the ones committing them.  Mercy and kindness should be our attitude (Micah 6: 8), and we should seek the welfare of not just those within our own community, but also with those who think differently or even oppose us (Jeremiah 29: 7).

To be clear, this does not mean we are to defend someone’s ideas when they don’t align with what we believe to be right, but we are to defend the person when they are attacked or abused because of their views. This is especially true when the abuse is completely unrelated to their beliefs, such as discrimination in the workplace or a denial of services.

Christians Can Probably Learn From The LGBTQ Community

The keys here are God's creation and the concept of common grace. The first chapter of Genesis (verses 26-27) tells us that God created the human race in His image.  Part of that means that He has endowed everyone, not just those who worship Him, with His communicable, or shared, attributes.  These include such characteristics as wisdom, love, goodness, truthfulness, jealousy, wrath, mercy, etc.. 

The concept of Common Grace is that regardless of who you are, Christian or not, God has permitted you to experience His goodness and provision. For instance, God is the sustainer of life.  If you are alive, you are receiving that blessing.  Success, health, "lucky breaks": these are all ways that God can universally bless His creation and show his love.

When God's attributes and common grace come together in the LGBTQ community and we see them succeeding and being a positive influence on others around them, we are seeing the reflection of God. They tend to be accepting of others, often looking for ways to help those around them.  I personally have seen members of this community demonstrate patience when confronted with opposing, sometimes hostile, opinions. While their reasons and motives might not come from a Biblical perspective, their actions certainly demonstrate how God expects us to treat those around us, providing an example to those who avoid or demean people different from themselves.

Sin Is Universal

Chances are your life is filled with people from all walks of life. You might go to lunch with a gossipy friend. Some of your co-workers may go out on Friday nights and drink too much. Perhaps your next-door neighbor is a little too friendly with women other than his wife. Nearly everyone you know has used a fictional excuse at one time or another to avoid responsibility (otherwise known as lying).  

Think about it: everyone you know (including yourself) sins! Despite this, we continue to hang out with them and include them in our lives.  In fact, we might even justify some of our relationships by telling ourselves it’s necessary for us to set a good example for them.

So, why should our interaction with the LGBTQ community be any different? Their sin might not look the same as your friends’ or neighbors’, but they are not worse. In fact, when you consider the harm sin can do to those around you, sexual and gender identity sins might be some of the less damaging. Yet LGBTQ sins are often treated more harshly, as if those transgressions are much more heinous. 

If the solution is to avoid and condemn sinners, then the real problem is that we let our friends and acquaintances off way too easy! However, as already discussed, this is definitely not the case, because God wants us to be involved in the lives of others. God’s solution is to get closer and share the love, blessings, and grace we have been given.

We Need To Rely On Jesus

Every Christian knows we need to rely on Jesus. However, there are a couple of areas in which I specifically need to trust in Him. The first is how my words are received. The second is my freedom to share them.

I believe one of the toughest things about discussing these issues, in particular same-sex attraction, is that it’s hard to understand what the sin truly is. Most sins have clearly defined consequences. Stealing robs someone of their rightful possessions. Lying is deceitful and can cause harm or allow the liar to avoid correction or punishment. Adultery can destroy a family. Murder takes a life. Pride leads to all sorts of social problems. The list goes on.

This does not seem to be the case with homosexuality. On its surface, the gender with whom you are intimate appears to have little consequence. [1] In fact, from what I can tell, the only reason it is considered a sin is that God says to avoid it. That should be enough if you believe in the God of the Bible, but what if you don’t?  Any opposition based solely on God’s word would be meaningless to someone who is not a Christian.

In cases like this, I need to rely on God to reveal the truth to whomever hears it and I believe that truth requires faith in Jesus, which brings us full circle. We need to engage with the community, share what we know, and let them see God work in our lives.

This leads to my reliance on Jesus for the freedom to build these relationships without the fear of disappointing God. As I discussed before, there is a tension between not saying enough and saying too much, too strongly. My fear of messing it up and disappointing God immobilizes me. However, because of Christ this shouldn’t be the case.  God has perfectly accepted me. He won’t reject me if I fail, nor my standing with Him increase if I say all the right words. [2] I am free to interact and experiment as I learn what works and what doesn’t.

Again, this is something I am still working on. These thoughts are only my steppingstones.  I’m still nervous (I’m an introvert, so any interaction can make me nervous), but I’m hoping that my focus becomes less on “doing it right” and more on just doing it. If God intends to use me in someone else’s life, I’m sure He will either give me the opportunity and show me how, or touch that person’s life through me without my even realizing it.  In the meantime, the best thing I can do is build a relationship and just be there.

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[1] To reiterate, I am referring mainly to same-sex attraction.  Physical options, such as hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgery, have been shown to cause harm to the body. (For examples, see the book Embodied: Transgender Identities, The Church & What the Bible Has to Say by Preston Sprinkle.)

[2] To better understand how faith in Jesus affects our relationship with God, I would recommend a series on the Book of Galatians that was recently taught in my church.  (If you prefer Spotify, start with this sermon.)

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