About a year ago, my wife and I jumped aboard the binge-watching train. In our case, however, you might classify it as "semi-binge," since it usually takes us a couple of months to watch an entire television series instead of just a couple of weekends. Typically, our show of choice is a comedy-drama. Some are more comedic. Some are more dramatic. What is consistent is that they have interesting storylines and characters that hold our interest. However, there is one common theme many of these shows have that we would both like to see significantly minimized. That is all the sex. Let me take a moment to explain exactly what I mean. I'm not talking about depictions of sexual encounters, though I do feel that they are rarely, if ever, necessary. Additionally, I'm not talking about the discussion or presence of sex within the story. While I'll admit I could probably be more discerning in this area, I realize sex is simply a part of life and, if you are going to engage in a story that attempts to accurately depict the world, there is the chance that you will encounter sex. What I am talking about is the purpose and importance of sex in television relationships, especially those involving the main protagonists of the show. Shows often use sex to signify a successful relationship. (This is obviously true in Hollywood movies and bestselling books, as well.) As a relationship grows, the status of that relationship is often portrayed as "uncertain" until the moment the couple actually sleeps together. At that point, the relationship is established and focus shifts more to that couple's physical relationship. The sex extends beyond the bedroom as conversations among friends often involve how much sex the couple is having and how good it is. In a nutshell, television writers and producers use sex in their stories as a means of proof that a couple is truly in love. There are several reasons why this puts me off. The first is that, at least to me, it seems very unrealistic. In these fictional worlds, a person's sex life is a common topic of discussion among friends and co-workers. Furthermore, couples appear overly focused on this aspect of their relationship, as they continuously discuss, evaluate, or engage in sex. Personally, I have not found this to be the case in real life. In my fifty years of existence, apart from my spouse and immediate family, I have had only one conversation with another person where intimacy with our partners was discussed. Additionally, even though I really don't know everyone's personal business, I don't get a sense from those around me that they are constantly searching for and/or having sex. It's possible that my experience is unusual, but I just don't believe the majority of the population are simply obsessed with having and discussing sex. Another reason, and clearly the more important, is that the role of sex in television is backward from what God intends. As previously mentioned, media uses the sexual experience as a way to demonstrate that two people are falling in love. Often it is the starting point of a serious relationship. God, on the other hand, designed sex to be the result and reward of a relationship that has already demonstrated love and commitment, otherwise known as a marriage. Why is this God's expectation? There are several reasons – many of which I'm sure I'm ignorant – but I'll mention two. The first is that it is through sex that God gives His creation the means to fulfill His first commandment, which is to multiply and fill the earth. (Gen. 1:28) Marriage is the institution God intended for this purpose and this is why a Biblical marriage is between a man and a woman. Biologically, it's necessary. Furthermore, God endowed each gender with different qualities and characteristics that are equally important in raising a child. While many single parents and same-sex couples have done excellent jobs raising children, in some cases better than intact dual-gender marriages, it is only this latter union that offers parents access to a complete complement of tools available to help a child grow up to reach their full God-given potential. The second reason God has reserved sex for marriage is that it is the only truly unique gift a person can offer their spouse. God commands us to share our time, money, intelligence, talents, and even non-sexual touch with others around us. The sexual relationship, however, is a sacred experience that is intended to be shared exclusively between and man and his wife. That exclusivity cannot be guaranteed apart from an oath of marriage. It is this unique experience that allows the couple to get to know each other in ways that no one else can. There is another way in which the media's view of sex is way off the mark. That is the idea that "making love" is an indicator of true love. Even if you disregard recreational sex and only look at serious relationships, the two simply don't equate . . . not even in Christian marriages. Real love is measured by one's concern and care for the well-being of another, as they would themselves (Matt. 22:39-40, Rom. 13:9-10). The frequency or quality of any sex act has no effect on that. Ups and downs in a sexual relationship (no pun intended) might affect how much fun the couple has together or how much they like each other at any given time, but it doesn't change their love. In other words, a wife is not going withhold dinner from her husband simply because he was too tired to perform the previous night. Conversely, a man might be great in the sack, but consistently fail to show up for events that are important to his girlfriend, such as family get-togethers. This is why the concept of "try it before you buy it" in the case of marriage is ridiculous. If a couple is basing their decision to marry on whether or not the sex is good, they should not marry. There is not enough love in that relationship to make it through the weighty circumstances that really matter in a marriage. What it boils down to is that a lot of people are being fed a message that, if they believe it, could significantly alter their lives, and not for the better. That message is that sex is a reliable measurement of a relationship's strength. The reality is that sex outside of marriage has many more disadvantages than advantages: sexually transmitted disease, unwanted pregnancy, embarrassment, excessive heartbreak, bad relationships that continue because the sex is good, marriages that fail because more importance was placed on the physical instead of intellectual nature of the relationship. In fact, the only advantage of premarital sex is a few minutes of fun or pleasure, something that can be acquired in any number of ways that don't have the potential to totally change a person's life. This is one of the main reasons my wife and I enjoy Hallmark Channel movies (yes, I'm bringing up Hallmark again). True, they are corny, formulaic, occasionally over the top, and often require a stretch of the imagination. However, the role of sex is downplayed so much that most of the time it isn't even present in the story. Instead, we are treated to a tale that demonstrates how real love develops, by spending time truly getting to know someone through conversation and common life experiences that build character and connection. Not only that, if you're lucky you might even marry a prince . . . . . . or Santa Claus' nephew.