This past weekend I took a trip to Ephesus . . . figuratively, of course. The trip I actually took was to my Church where I watched a Living Letters presentation of the Book of Ephesians. Living Letters is the brain-child of Stephen Trafton (who also happens to be my church’s worship leader) and his wife, Juliette. Drawing upon their theatrical background, Stephen and Juliette bring various books of the Bible to life while also giving the audience a glimpse into the times and culture which surrounded the writings.

The Living Letter's presentation of Ephesians is pretty much a one act play in two scenes. In the first scene, Stephen takes on the role of Tychicus, the bearer of Paul's letter. Interacting with the audience as if they were members of the church in Ephesus, he discusses the cultural background surrounding the epistle and offers information about Paul's ministry at the time of its writing. The second scene is the reading of the letter itself. Here Stephen switches to the role of Paul the Apostle and speaks with all the passion and emphasis the author must have felt while writing the letter.

This was my second opportunity to see Ephesians, but watching this second time I heard our relationship with Jesus described in a manner that I had not noticed before. To be clear, this involved two scriptural truths with which I was already familiar. The first is that in marriage two individuals become one (Gen 2:4). If you are a Christian you have probably heard this scripture preached in regards to the sanctity of marriage and a warning against divorce. The second concept is that marriage is a representation of the relationship between Christ and the Church. Several of Jesus' parables use wedding imagery to illustrate his relation to those who love him (Matt. 9:15, 25:1-15) and the Book of Revelation describes the marriage of the Lamb (who is Jesus) to his Bride the Church (Rev. 19: 7-9). As previously mentioned, I have studied these concepts separately. What Ephesians accomplished, however, was stitch the two together in a way that offered me a renewed perspective on my relationship with both Christ and my spouse.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great—but I am actually speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”

[ Ephesians 5: 31-32 - New English Translation, the translation used in the performance]

Wow! Think about that, starting with the first statement. "The two will become one flesh." Yes, that is a great mystery. No matter how much we want to believe that a married couple are so much in sync that they function as one body and mind, the reality is that human marriage falls mightily short of that goal. Do you ever look at Jane and think, "I see every aspect her husband John represented in her?" Of course not. We tend to see the differences. Jane's thrifty. John's spending is uncontrolled. Jane is neat. John’s clothes litter the floor. Jane is quiet and reserved. John’s voice can be heard across a crowded room. And so on.

But then the apostle Paul writes the word "actually" (or the Greek equivalent) and what follows changes everything. Everything he just said about marriage (and we'll get to more of that later) was, in a sense, code for the relationship between Jesus and the Church. Jesus left his Heavenly Father. He gave up equality with God to humble himself and walk among us as human (Phil 2:6-7). Why? To be joined to his bride, the Church! "And the two shall become one flesh." Unlike human marriage, this divine marriage is perfect, in that when God looks upon one who has put their faith in Christ, he truly sees Christ's righteousness in them (2 Cor. 5:17, Eph. 1:3-4). How that can be is the real mystery (as I know my own sinful heart), but this is the grace of God and His gift (Eph. 2:8-9).

It doesn't end there, however. It only gets better!

These verses I quoted above follow Biblical instructions to husbands and wives (Eph. 5:22-30) that tend to make women cringe and men lower their heads in shame -- women because they are expected to submit to their husbands, and men because their love for their wife falls far short of the sacrifice expected of them. This might be the only time Paul appeals to our sin nature when he tells husbands to "love their wives as their own bodies." While there are healthy aspects to meeting one's needs and caring for one's body, it's too easy to go overboard and think in terms of "what's best for me?" -- an attitude that leads to the sins of selfishness and self-centered desires. I can imagine Paul instructing husbands to take what comes easy, focusing on themselves, and turn that focus instead toward their wives' needs and concerns. The result is a selfless, other-centered love that puts her interests first and helps build trust.

Easy, right? Hardly. I don't think I'm telling you anything new when I say that such a marital relationship is rarely seen, at least with any consistency.

Now let's decipher this passage using Paul's code. No one would balk at the idea that someone who considers themselves a Christian should submit to the rule of Christ. That's simply part of the contract. In light of that, when you read Ephesians 5:22 using this analogy it makes perfect sense. "Wives (Church), submit to your husbands (Christ)." Paul’s command to wives is also a command to husbands in regard to Christ. A husband should be slow to find fault in his spouse, knowing he has failed to obey perfectly himself, starting with Paul’s next command: Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies (v. 28). Paul’s words that the husband is to give his life for his wife is a reminder to all that Jesus literally gave his life so that we, his Bride, may be holy and blameless before God. He (God the Father) truly loves us as He loves Himself (God the Son).

God's expectations for marriage might seem lofty for humans, but not for Christ and his relationship with his Bride, the Church. However, before we consider ourselves "off-the-hook," Paul is quick to remind the Church in Ephesus that while he is, in a sense, speaking metaphorically, we should still strive to follow Christ's model in our own marriage.

"Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. "

(Ephesians 5:33)

If you are married, do you see Christ's relationship with the Church in your relationship with your spouse? In my case, it's easy to see aspects of the Church in my wife: shortcomings, imperfections, self-focus. Unflattering, to be sure. What is less flattering is my inability to love her as Christ loves the Church, despite her/its flaws. And what my wife sees in me is no better. Instead of seeing Christ, she often sees a selfish, intolerant, apathetic man. However, the Living Letter’s performance reminded me that what is nearly impossible for me is not a problem for God. He sees me as I ought to be, not as I am. Every day he is transforming me. These facts are equally as true for anyone who puts their faith in Christ. As Christians, our hope is that our marriages will grow stronger everyday as a witness to the world so that, when others look at us, they catch a glimpse of the relationship Christ desires with them.