Several weeks ago, Deborah and I were watching a singing competition show and one of the contestants was given Bruno Mars' Grenade to perform. While speaking about his motivation for the song, the contestant admitted in an interview that he had never been in a relationship where he loved the person so much he would give his life for them. (John 15:13) At this, I paused the show and asked my wife a question.

"What do you think is easier (or should I say more realistic), to tell someone you would give your life for them, but chicken out and save yourself if the situation actually did arise; or admit that you are not sure what you would do, and in the heat of the moment act without thinking and potentially protect the one you love?

Or to put it another way, would you tell someone you would die for them even if you're not sure you could go through with it, or would you keep quiet and hope you would rise to the occasion if need be?

Deborah's response was reasonable and expected. Assuming she actually had time to evaluate the situation, she said it really depended on what kind of death or other injury was involved. Would it be quick and painless? Then, yes, she would have no problem dying to save me. However, if the death was slow and painful, or if it was likely she would actually survive but be disfigured in a way that would cause pain and suffering for the rest of her life, she might not be so willing to take my place. Before you judge the level of her love for me, remember love is supposed to be two ways, meaning I shouldn't want her to give her life or undergo undo pain to save me. Therefore, if I ended up dying and she lived, then my desires for her would be fulfilled. It's really a big, complicated mess of a situation that makes for interesting conversation, but hopefully never needs to be tested in real life.

The conversation then moved to a discussion about if we actually had a choice, who should live and who should die. (Such pleasant conversations we have.) While this sounds morbid, it is actually a topic that comes up often in our home. Typically, it's not as blunt as, "who should live and who should die?" More, it's a discussion about quality of life, current health issues, things we look forward to, etc, and, based on those things, would we rather have a longer or shorter life span. While our opinions on the subject is a private conversation between Deborah and myself, I can assure you that neither of us, regardless of our situation, are considering hastening our death, for we are people who live with hope. (Rom. 15:13, 2 Cor. 4:17-18)

So getting back to the original question, what was my response? Would I promise to give my life, only to change my mind in the moment? Or would I give my life regardless of what I may have said or felt in the past? Luckily, by this time, the fact that I never gave an answer was forgotten and we went on watching the show without my having to publicly declare a position. And I am fine with that. Bullet dodged. (That's not intended to imply I would save myself, just a poor choice of phrase.)

Actually, before restarting the television show, we did ponder one last question. What does it really matter anyway, at least within the context of the song? Would doing any of the things Mars claimed he would do actually save the one he loves? Catch a grenade? Unless you throw it back it is still going to explode and take you both out. Jump in front of a train? With the exception of Superman, I expect the train would just plow through a would-be hero and continue to take out the original victim. (The song doesn't say he would push them out of the way of the train, just jump in front of it.)

The last two, throwing your hand on a blade and taking a bullet have some potential, but there are no guarantees. In regards to the blade, sure you might prevent the initial stab from harming your loved one, but now you are seriously wounded and handicapped at stopping any further attacks. And let's say you and your loved one are held hostage at gunpoint. You plead with the gunman to take you and let your loved one go. Fine. He agrees and shoots you, through the head as the song suggests. Who's to say he's not just going to shoot your loved one, as well. You are negotiating with a criminal, after all.

In the end, I'm not going to sweat it too much. If the situation should ever arise, I'll react the way I'm going to react and I hope it is in a noble manner. You can't rehearse these types of things. In the meantime, I'll simply trust that God's protection is over me and my family and that I'll never have to be put to that sort of test. (Matt. 6:13)