For starters, I would like to thank Steve Brown for writing Talk The Walk. He has saved me a lot of time and effort.

When I was younger I was very prideful. I thought everyone should think as I do and I was quick to point out when someone was wrong. Fortunately, I am an introvert and, despite what I may have thought, I would often keep my mouth shut. Still, on the inside I seethed. I couldn't stop thinking about all the ways others were wrong and how I could prove it to them if I had the opportunity (and the guts)!

Before I go any further, let me correct two things I just said. The first is that I felt this way when I was younger. The truth is, I often still feel this way. The second is that I often remained silent. While that is true, it didn't apply one hundred percent of the time. There were many times I got in arguments or put my foot in my mouth while trying to prove my point. Unfortunately, this often occurred with family, as they were who I felt most comfortable with.

After I became a Christian and studied the Bible, I learned more about effective communication. I had a choice. I could make sure everyone knew I was correct and come off as arrogant and prideful. Alternatively, I could be patient and listen to what others had to say, calmly share my opinion when appropriate and pertinent, and come across as loving and graceful. The aspiring writer that I was, I planned on sharing this revelation with the world in a book titled something like Is It Better To Be Right or Righteous?

I never wrote that book, and now I don't have to, as Steve Brown has already done so in Talk The Walk: How To Be Right Without Being Insufferable.

The main premise Brown explores is this: When it comes to God, Christians are right and knowing that can be a dangerous thing. It's dangerous in that when someone knows they are right, they often feel it is their personal duty to correct everyone else who they believe are wrong. There is the attack approach that demeans others and assumes they are idiots (an approach many outspoken Christians take these days, unfortunately) and a respectful approach that is inviting and treats others as intelligent individuals. It is this second approach that Brown hopes we as Christians can learn to embrace.

Admitting that this book is directed as much at himself as the reader, Brown offers several pointers to help us change the way we think about conversations and evangelism. The first is to remind us of our role in God's plan. The Christian's role is to be the messenger. God's role is to change people's hearts and minds (1 Cor. 3:6). Too often we try to take on both roles. When someone just isn't "getting it" we fear we are failing. The result is that we try harder or get angry, two reactions that will quickly drive someone away. Brown suggests we start by focusing only on our job of sharing and leave it up to God to handle the rest.

Another important step is to exhibit humility. One way Christians can do this is to admit that while we know the ultimate truth (God loves us enough to sacrifice His son Jesus so that we may be reconciled to Him), everything else we know about scripture might be incorrect. This shouldn't be a surprise since there are so many different denominations and views on everything from worship music to baptism to which version of the Bible you should be reading. Doctrine is important, but having someone to agree with you on how to tithe correctly doesn't ensure their eternal salvation. We can spend so much time fighting over side issues that the main issue get lost in the dust. Admitting there is room for error in the details, however, opens the door for conversation and invites people to open up about what they believe.

Brown continues by suggesting that sometimes the best conversation is done silently. First, spend more time listening. You can never know a person's needs and desires if you are too busy telling them yours that they don't have a chance to speak. We should be less concerned about what we are going to say next and more focused on what we are being told. Second, instead of telling someone how to live and love, show them how to live and love. Our lives should reflect our beliefs (that includes admitting our faults and being open about our struggles with living according to God's word) and our actions should demonstrate love. We can share a meal with a neighbor or offer to help when they have a need. In doing so, our lives and actions might spark an interest in others that prompts them to start asking questions.

That leads to the final point I wish to mention, which is that we need to stop trying so hard. If the Christian's goal is conversion, people they talk to will know they are being sold a bill of goods that they simply are not interested in buying. But if our goal is love and Brown's suggestions are applied, people might feel comfortable, safe, and truly accepted. When others feel this way they tend to be more open to listening to what you have to say. And after they've listened, if they aren't interested, just drop it. It's Biblical (Matt. 10:14). If you continue to push your agenda, you might very well push your friend away and lose any chance to share with them in the future. Instead, drop the agenda, continue to be a friend, and let God work on their heart.

Other topics Brown touches upon are the fact that we are nobody's mother, getting personal with our own experiences, shock and awe, and even how to cuss (I'll let you read about that yourself). While the book's context centers around the message of the Christian faith, the techniques and concepts discussed could be applied to almost any conversation where people disagree. In today's world, where more and more people are eager to share their opinion but not so eager to hear anyone else's, the advice found in Talk The Walk is invaluable.

The book is rather easy to read and is short enough to finish in one or two good afternoon reading sessions. My plan is to work through it with my Community Group this fall. Whether you pick it up for yourself or to read with others, I would highly recommend Steve Brown's Talk The Walk: How To Be Right Without Being Insufferable.

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Talk The Walk is the second book in my "Three Books for 2019" series. I realize it is not one of the titles I originally proposed to read, but 1) this book wasn't published when I made my original list, 2) I always retained the option to revise my list, and 3) I simply wanted to read and review this book more than the others. I might do it again for the last book. As Steve Brown taught me to say, Quid inferorum!